Little bottles and little tubes of things.

I have to replenish my rather copious former supply of little bottles and little tubes. That isn’t as easy as it would seem and this is because I’m not mailed samples. I don’t even know if manufacturers mail little packets of things anymore. When I moved to the Lower East Side which is apparently, not a chic zip code, all of the little things that I got while residing in a chic zip stopped. I didn’t miss that right away, but now I do.

What I miss is the possibility. I miss the possibility of re-hydrating something that needs to be re-hydrated. ( I think it's skin they're talking about, but who knows?)

For the last ten years no one has sent me a little tubey packet thing of rehydrating cream. Since I don’t actually know what to do with the product anyway it's not much of a loss. I also have not received that stuff comes with quenching possibilities, which greatly appeals to me as I’ve the idea that if I didn’t drink so much water, I wouldn’t have to get up at night. But I’m pretty sure cream doesn’t address that.

I'm relegated to taking hotel samples of stuff which is less satisfying than free mail samples. That's because there's no advertising and no promise. When you're in a hotel, the promise is that you'll help save the earth if you don't use the towels and there's an implication that you're a slob if you put them on the floor. Their little soaps and conditioner and lotion say only lotion, shampoo, conditioner. Where's the appeal in that?

Since I live in the Jewish section of Chinatown, there’s a dearth of things that I know what to do with. The Jewish stores sell dry goods and the Chinese stores sell herbal cures for whatever ails you. That, of course, is happy-making but you’re pretty much relegated to drug store chains with cosmetic bin displays if you're looking for that sort of thing.

Bunches of spas want to sell you things for $39.95 and they tell you that you need lots of these things but they don’t actually tell you what they’re for. They’re only good for chastising you about your over-grown eyebrows which you really should be plucking every single week and hot waxing minimally twice a month and this is something you already knew. I personally think spas on the les are a bit harsh about that but then you remember where you are so you have to expect to be tsk tsked. Also, a tsk or two makes me an excellent tipper so maybe that's why they do that.

I am confused about the benefits of rehydration, moisturizers, curative creams and also replenishing things. I get anti-cavity toothpaste, as I am opposed to cavities, who isn’t?

When we got all burned up, my friend Leah gave me a little suitcase chock full of little tubes of things. Everything is a brand that you and I have heard of. She gave me a pretty little jar of Absolue Premium Fix that is a “Crème Reconstituante Profonde” and a bigger jar of the same stuff and also High Resolution Refill, which is a triple action cream. I also have tubes of Collaser 5X which is soin anti-redes. I have things that regenerate, including a tube of regenerating body lotion that is, and I’m not making this up, “specially designed for the body.” I have a tube of something called “undectable” and it’s sort of a darkish skin color so I think it’s makeup, and bunches of other kinds of lotions that are differently spf rated including a sport face one that has an spf of 70. I love all these things. But since I didn’t accumulate them
myself, I don’t actually know where they should be put on my body.

Not knowing where these things go has not dissuaded me from using them. I think that I would actually be lovely if they were going on the right place and maybe they are and that I am well past the lovely possibility. I hope not.

I’m doubling down here and augmenting these things. So far I bought a bunch of Chinese Herbs that I have to boil then I think drink or maybe I’m supposed to rub them somewhere, I’ll figure it out. I also bought Vino de Carne & Hierro from a Hispanic drug store which the clerk told me about. She told me that this was a very good thing and I got that but not the rest of the pantomime. The label has a cow on it and I like cows so, of course, that has possibilities too.

I had expected living here that I would know Spanish and a little bit of Chinese. I expected to learn by osmosis but that didn't turn out. I am stuck with my verbless French and can only say thank you and happy New Year in languages that are prominent here.

Maybe someone will mail me something. Almost anything would be good. Going downstairs now to see if there's a Spanish language or Chinese language learning CD or a moisturizing thing. It’s all about possibilities, right?